and .... im dead '

yeahp . i dreamed that i was dead. well... and not just me
i saw 2 people dead. me . a randon motoboy . and... his daughter.

i was on my computer , talking to m mom.. suddly . im dead. heart attack.  ( really ? ) 
too much drugs. ( maybe one day )
neddes toooo much to do this.
im not that addicted
i think...
im not'

well ...
then... the only one who hear me was my mom , and the others dead people. weard .
at begging was funl. i walk in the streeat jumping and dancing , nobory cares about. course . i was dead. invisible. my soul was free... touching the living given them chill... so cool . but then . BAM!
MOM HE NEED TO KNOW ! . -  call him !! right now "
....
...
...
...
no answer .. of course , he dosent care . why would him.
...
...
still nothing .
..
...
...
..
- who is it ? 

- HEEY , i was looking for the Gentle guy. 

- hes busy . 

- PLEASE " ITS AN EMERGENCY 
( call 911 ? )

- he cant talk now !!!

- tell him to call me back asap.

tu tu tu tu tu ...

great call.

MOM NEED TO TALK TO SHARKBOY !

- omg no darling. 

ok ;-; he problably would cry a lot. and maybe kill him self . such a problematic boy


then . i was in a camp . that vacation one... full of kids ( perfect place '-- ) 
but it was weard .. kids annd instructurs running in panic everywhere ..  chaos.
( now its good )
and i saw rocks coming over the walls .. groups of children runing with some kind of turtle shell in their backs.. to protec them ..
( fail )
well.. didnt work for everyone ..
a little girl was left behind .
the small one. long golden hair.
but. she was hit by one of the rocks... i knew it who she was .
his daughter .
my heart just stopps .
omg , she was ... she didnt move .
when i got near. i saw her body nest to the rock ...
- are u okay ?  ( of course ¬¬ )
..
..
..
..
- i am.

 WTF GIRL

- u can see me ?!?!

- i can. 

SHIT. MOM SHE IS TALKING TO ME. SHE IS DEAD!!!!

- omg darling come over here. look , your are dead.
i know your dad. and , u cant see him anymore.

and i woke up.

with this girl at my mind. and the sensation of being abandoned. alone. tottaly.

i cant have your love. so i create one. little and cute.

yeah . thats fuck up.( yeah , i'm here '-' , like always )

it's supose to be something new . but i see that  same history , but from another person. is so weard . fuck . i know how he feel. because one day i was in his place . not so long time ago. that fucking history . that. tale . passing through my mind . all again , all in repeat . over and over . but in this time , i'm in the other side of the table . gosh . it's so sad . because i feel. thats terrible. everything that i belived , fall over, in front of me , making me cry more than ever . i was right ! why now it look like i'm so fucking wrong . idk what to do . go back .now . because i know where this ends . and finish this fucking thing now is much better than just let this things happen , in a level that you "cant" come back. my fucking mistake , (I TOLD YOU ! [ my fucking mind says ] ) better be alone . than this . but i'm so fucking lacking . arrgh '--
just one year and three months . or less . one year is good . i could do something with this one year . maybe ....
i just cant do it . i tried . but it only failed . failed so hard . SO FUCKING HARD . it was the right thing to do ? in my heart , yes , in my mind ,maybe , for my life , no . WTF ? I hate my self '-- ( what a surprise , you are never happy with you self , dont ya? ) no . i 'll remember everything you said . stuck , in here , ( in me you are sayin )  i'm too young for what is happening now . too young .  too naive . I fucked up my friendship with you , you are so kawaii . so nice . so gentle . so romantic . and omg , that things that you said , was so fucking sweet , i 'll never watch Hitch again and dont recall what you said to me . too early , but , wrong ? maybe not , we have so much things in common , ( SO WHAT ? Ò.Ó ) maybe my friend was right , i'm just bored of my " boyfriends/husband" . That good feeling of start dating , that first kiss,you know . it's sooooooooooo good . i dont feel that a long time .. so good . so good .

 ~ i'm still loving youu !! ( oh that song again , you are a disgrace , you didnt have nothing yet with him to say this . you fucker -.-' ) i want to have something ! ¬¬' ( but you cant . because you are fucking engaged ) _|_ dont remember me this . ( '-' i dont know if you remember [ of course you do , cause I do. and i'm your mind ] but a while ago [ one year and three months to be precise ]  you wanted this '-' ) BUT NOT ANYMORE . I MEAN  , IDK , WHY ? T-T ITS SO HARD TO MAKE A FUCKING DECISION , WITH THIS THING GOING ROUND AND ROUND , I LOVE HIM , BUT I LIKE ANOTHER ONE ! and now , he is gone ;c he leaft me . he toght it would be better this way . no , i'm so sad . i 'll never talk to him again . ;c i didnt want this ! i fuck like him . " I choose you . " thats what he said ;c and , i'm just like , i want to say that >.< . i want to be your Sona ;c my Lee sin . >.< for real ( for real ? WTF U HAVE IN YOUR MIND ? '-' not exactly in me , but , u understand '-' wake up u bitch . what he did to u ? did he pay your bills ? take care of you ? or something like that ? look what u are giving up for ! one life ~ a real one . with love . u are giving this , just for some  adventure with a kid ! he is younger than you ! he dosent know shit! now go to sleep , and pray for your sins '--  )  '-' pray ? ( SLEEP ! ) >.< ok but tomorrow whe continue with this . ( ... die )